Stronger than life...

So... i'm just so emotional today. I guess in a good way. I watch how hard my mom struggles with certain things in her life and I just want to grab her and hug her. She is one of the most important people in my life and I have no idea what I would do without her. She teaches me to be strong and I love her for that. I hope that my younger brother will not neglect her once he's out of the house and off at college. I could see him never coming back home again. But looking back when I was a senior in h.s. I never wanted to be in this town again and look at me now. 2 months into college, I never wanted to be anywhere else but this town. I hope he learns what he needs to, to be able to survive on his own. I pray for him and my other two brothers everyday as well. As for my youngest brother, he thinks he stronger than he is and I just wish he would be more sensitive. He seen my belly move the other night when I was laying back in a chair. Everyone was surrounding me and he walked over and seen it. He started freaking out. At the same time, I think he liked being able to see something like that. I don't really have any worries for him at the moment. And finally, my oldest younger brother who isn't with us anymore. I love you so much and I hope your looking down now and just so happy on seeing how your family is turning out. The other day, I took allan to his grave site for the first time...It was the first time I had been up there in a couple years...but anyways we started walking up towards him and allan said, "I didn't realize his middle name is james, is that going to be okay?" This is strange b/c we are naming our little boy's middle name james also...it didn't even occur to me. So I guess overall, this is me being extremely thankful for all the family I have and everyone who supports my family. Because while I sit and think about them everyday...I'm starting a new family with allan. Hopefully one day it will be as big as we hope. But for now its the 5 of us and I love that!
I love you babe!

Until next time....